This was my moment of truth. Success seemed so far away.
I played with fire as a kid. I lived in fear of the shadows, checking under cars and crying when the sun went down. Daddy didn’t love me, Momma wasnt proud of me. My honor roll credibility didn’t matter, making national headlines wasn’t good enough.
I got married, divorced. I became an alcoholic and survived. I’ve lived in my friends attic, my ford explorer and on a couch. I dropped out of college 12 hours short of a bachelors degree, Bartended, go-go danced and decided to become a trainer. I worked for crooked gyms and traveled with monsters.
I’ve seen things I wish my mind could erase, said words I wished I could take back.
Looking at all of these different facets of my past made it really easy to tell myself i didn’t deserve success.
Not only was it easy to tell myself that, but it was easy to let the haters hurt me. I knew I was being called. I didn’t know why or even if I could do what I was being called for. I just had faith. The best thing that happened to me in a marriage built on teenage hormones and the need to fill my childhood void was I found God. I was saved. This wave of energy overcame my body and I felt reborn. The hate, hurt and fear I felt melted away.
If me, why not you? If not you, then who? If not now, then when?
We have to put money in the hands of the people who want to change the world. The world needs you, your family needs you, GOD needs you. Is it worth your self worth?
My voice is so physically unique you can hear me from a mile away. My grandfather poked at me, telling me I would make the ways of the world with my voice. I didn’t know then what I know now.
My lack of self worth isn’t to blame on anyone aside from myself. One could say it was because of a childhood void, but who doesn’t have some traumatizing story from their childhood? Maybe it’s because I didn’t know about God, and I certainly didn’t know that I was created in his vision.
It could even have something to do with the phrase “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”. I watched my mother continuously settle for less throughout my childhood. Did this mean it was a genetic inheritance?
The older I became, the more aware I was of the power of my voice. People from all walks of life listened to me, usually pouring their souls into my misguided hands. I never didn’t understand it until now.
I’ll never forget the day I was sitting in the very same Ford Explorer I had spent the night in. I was parked at a local Wal-mart on the phone with a friend whom I had particulalury deep conversations with. This conversation was different, and I could feel that there was something guiding me to this thought. Then it hit me. I told him I didn’t know what it was but I knew that I was going to lead a large group of people. I joked about leading those to safety during the apocalypse. If only I knew then what I know now.
Almost 4 years ago I made a decision that would change my world forever. I decided to start a home based business.
Soon after I started I had forged my way into the top 27 of the company, the youngest involved at the time. They lifted me up in celebration of my success, hugged me and told me they were proud. These people showed me grace. They didn’t judge me based on my past, they didn’t even know anything about my past life. They looked at me with hope, they saw courage. They saw someone who was going to change the face of the company…and I did.
It wasn’t until a few months later, while attending an event in Florida, late at night, gathered around a picnic table where I was presented with a question I could not answer. “Why NOT you? What about you says that you’re not worth it? What have you done in your life that is so horrible that you think God would not want you to have success?”
I had reached a point in my business where my paycheck had plateaued, but I was still making more in one month that I had the entire previous year. I struggled with asking for more. Why? Quite frankly, I didn’t believe I was worth more.
It wasn’t until this conversation happened that I realized it. I was my own worst enemy. I was punishing myself for the mistakes of my parents and my own mistakes, and suffering because I felt like I deserved to.
As tears streamed down my face, I made the decision to battle my own demons.I set a number I could never imagine reaching, and I prayed a bold prayer. I asked that God give me the people that needed change, the wisdom to know who they were, the courage to say something, and the strength to try again each new day.
These preyers were answered. I would like to tell you that after that conversation I was healed, self worth came easily—but it didn’t.
Reflecting on my past I realized that I had struggled with self worth all of my life. Settling for “friends” that had no intention of encouraging me to be more, and struggling trough relationships with men who didn’t deserve me. All the while, it was me who hadn’t set a standard. I was determined to make a change, and so I did. I set a standard in my life and I am will never accept anything less. I vowed to release hatred, negativity and those who are consumed by it. I promised to avoid depression and those who suffer from it. I will live life, outside of the box. I will be the light in the mirror, I will lead those who need to follow and teach those who wish to lead.
Today, almost 4 years later I have done exactly that. I have built a team of thousands of people who are determined to change their life and the lives of anyone they encounter. We are a force to be reckoned with.
So you’ve got haters? Welcome to the club. It isn’t easy being successful, and no one ever said it would be. In fact if you have had conversation with me I will likely tell you the opposite. It is going to be hard, nothing good comes easy. I do promise you one thing, it will be worth it!
You will face your greatest opposition when you are closest to your biggest miracle! Don’t feel bad about hitting that delete button on Facebook. You don’t need them in your life unless they are lifting you up with encouragement, breathing life into your dreams and surrounding you with love. Too many of us settle for far less than we deserve. Set a standard for your life an accept nothing less.
Remember haters are gonna hate, and most haters are stuck in a poisonous mental prison of jealousy and self-doubt that blinds them to their own potential.
The devil will be hard at work trying to deter you from your dreams and goals. You get to decide if you are going to allow those people and those emotions to infiltrate your life.
You are not a bad person and you do not deserve to struggle. You were put here to prosper. If you were raised like myself you may believe money is evil, but in reality money only amplifies the soul of the person who has it. Money makes good people better and bad people worse.
Your voice matters and your voice could change the world.
What are you afraid of?
Up until this point you have survived adversity, struggle, sickness and the loss of loved ones. You have been hated, loved, bullied and battled adversities you never imagined you could overcome. Do you honestly think that all of theses things happened to you and not FOR you? You have been put through a test and if you are here reading my words, you have overcome. You have passed. Regardless of your choices in your past you have one choice today. Let it define you or create who you want to become. You are worth it, your future is worth it, and your dreams are worth it.
Don’t you DARE play small because someone else is intimidated by your success!
– Sarah Savidge